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Writer's pictureJim Beeke

Relationships With Your Parents

How can I improve my relationships with my parents??

Suggested Daily Reading: Ephesians 6:1-3; Proverbs 10:1 and 23:24

The teen years can be challenging, both for you and your parents.  You are maturing from a child to an adult.  You want to be treated as an adult and have more say to decide what you will do or not do.  Your parents, on the other hand, want to guide you. They want to prevent you from making serious mistakes and their harmful consequences. Your parents love you very much and have invested a great deal in terms of prayer, time and money for your well-being. They, too, want you to  develop into adults and want to give you more and more decision-making freedom.  But the deciding factor in many situations is trust.  Trust is key.

Would you, for example, allow your seven-year-old younger sister to bike on the side of the road?  Your twelve-year-old younger brother to use power tools to build a bird house?

Your answer will be determined by whether or not you trust them.  Do they have the maturity to safely handle this situation or not?

This is the same for your parents.  To improve your relationships with your parents, build trust.  It is much easier for your parents to say “yes” to your requests when they trust you! How do I build trust? you ask.  Let me suggest six helpful ways:

  1. Be honestIt is hard to trust someone, when you cannot trust what they say to you. Never lie or deceive your parents, even when you have done wrong.

  2. Ask for permissionDo not assume. Ask your parents, even when you know they will agree.  Asking shows respect and builds trust.

  3. Show love To love your parents and to show it are two different things. Show your appreciation for all they do for you.

  4. TalkSpeak with your parents. Silence and avoidance creates suspicion.  Openness and talking generates trust.

  5. ListenBe an effective listener. Try to understand.  Your parents love you and have more experience in life than you do.  Be respectful.

  6. PrayPray for your parents every day. Their task is challenging.  They are accountable to God for your training and their parenting of you.

What are you doing to build trust and better relationships with your parents?  Honestly reflect on the six suggestions above.  Is there room for improvement?  If so, go work on it.  Pray and work.  A trusting relationship with your parents during your teen years is a wonderful and meaningful blessing!  If you cultivate this you will reap the rewarding fruit of it the rest of your life.

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