top of page
Writer's pictureJim Beeke

Pre-Marital Sex

Is sex wrong if a boyfriend and girlfriend really love each other?

Suggested Daily Reading: Matthew 5:27-30; 1 Corinthians 6:18 – 7:5

Yes, sex before marriage is wrong.  Why?  Here are ten reasons why.  Premarital sex is wrong because:

  1. It breaks God’s loving commandGod safely placed the gift of human sexuality within the bounds of loving, lifelong marriage.

  2. It is sinning against your own bodyGod loves purity and our bodies should be viewed as temples of God to be kept clean and dedicated to God.

  3. It denies true love: true love denies self and seeks the best for the one he or she loves – Lust is the opposite; it wants to please self.  But love does not want to harm the one loved in any way.

  4. It damages the couples first time: there is only one first time with its intimacy and  specialness – The best fruits are sour if picked before they are ripe.

  5. It takes place in a mixed atmosphereFears of consequences, of being discovered, and of conscience intermix themselves in pre-marital sex.

  6. It increases emotional stressGuilt, tension, and fears of what would happen if the relationship broke up; and if the relationship continues, tensions regarding how to avoid or engage in more sexual activity are intensified.

  7. It lowers one’s self-control, self-esteem and self integrityWaiting builds trust and respect and a healthy relationship.  Pre-marital sex easily slips into a sex-dominated relationship.

  8. It produces lifelong, painful and disappointing memoriesIf the couple remains together, their memories are marred.  If they separate, painful and jealous memories remain.

  9. It mars a couple’s special wedding day joysIf pre-marital pregnancy results, this presents a host of new issues and problems.  If pregnancy does not result the couple have robbed themselves of this special joy and intimate aspect of their wedding day and substituted a guilty conscience for it.

  10. It increases the risk of damaging parental and family relationshipsIf pregnancy results, family crisis’ are generated; and if pregnancy does not occur a hypocritical silence is maintained, sometimes for life.

The tempter makes sin look attractive.  But engaging in sin always produces bitter fruits.  Sometimes outwardly, but always inwardly.  A condom may prevent the physical consequences from pre-marital sex, but there is no condom for one’s memory, feelings or conscience.  Why is this true?  Why will no human devise ever protect any person from the spiritual and eventually the eternal consequences of unrepentant sin?

bottom of page