Being Cautious
It is better to marry than to burn. 1 Corinthians 7:9
Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-9
If things are right during an engagement, two individuals become united into a single entity. Conversion is necessary for that to truly happen, for we are so self-centered! A couple needs to be given hearts for each other. This is much more than being infatuated with a handsome face or a nice figure. To become one, it is crucial to learn what self-denial entails as well as being of service to each other. It is only possible to learn this as a fruit of Christ’s self-denial and His service.
During an engagement time, you not only need to grow together spiritually, but also in a physical way. This requires a growing process of appreciation for each other. When a couple is engaged at a rather young age, this process must occur more slowly since the wedding day is quite a long time off. Physical attraction for one another must be calibrated accordingly.
As we have previously stated, sexual intimacy must be reserved for married life. Therefore, there needs to be a long process of development between the first kiss and complete sexual union between a man and woman. But where does that boundary lie? This boundary lies on a different plane for a couple who are starting to go steady and a couple who are two weeks away from their wedding day. It is important that a couple discuss this together, for that will also act as a ‘preventative measure’ during their engagement. Then they can hold one another accountable to the standards they have agreed upon. There are certain obvious boundaries: they must not be alone for extended periods of time, and removal of clothing is forbidden. But the best way to guard the boundaries is to become spiritually united. When God’s Word has the highest place in your engagement, you will be more inclined to correct one another if temptations arise to cross boundaries.
Thought: Since society is so focused on sexual relationships, it is vital to remind one another that spiritual unity is of utmost importance in a relationship.
Psalter 428:3 (based on Psalm 119) O Lord, how shall a youth preserve his way, At every turn by vanity surrounded? In truth, if he Thy statutes will obey, If on Thy Word his attitudes are founded. Thou Whom I’ve sought, O let me never stray From Thy commandments, lest I be confounded.