Pastor I’m deathly afraid to the point where I can’t eat or sleep because I believe I’ve committed the unforgivable sin, blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I was very angry one day and asked God “How can I tell my dad you’ll help him if you can’t even help me?” I’m so scared of an eternity without Jesus but I feel there is no longer a point of me living if I am dammed for eternity.
If you are damned for eternity, you have every reason to live! Because this is all the good you'll ever have. This life is the best part of your existence if you are damned. I mean, why hasten the day of your eternal damnation? Don't take your life!
In the meantime, no one knows their damnation, reprobation, or final judgment until it is sealed in their death. The unforgivable sin is the sin that is unto death. (1 John 5:16-17) Take heart! You have not committed it. Sadly, you have sinned by claiming God's sovereign providence and care as untrustworthy. Thankfully, Jesus mentions your sin directly in reference to the unpardonable sin. Your sin is not it—yours falls into the "every sin and blasphemy" shall be forgiven category.
Let's look at the passage. Matthew 12:31-32, Jesus says, "Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven." In context, "blasphemy against the Spirit" is a conscious, willful rejection of the convicting power of the Holy Spirit. This blasphemy is not a one-time act of speech or thought but a persistent state of resisting the Holy Spirit's work of conviction, illumination, and calling one to repentance and faith in Christ.
In essence, the unforgivable nature of this sin is not due to God's unwillingness to forgive but rather the sinner's persistent refusal to seek forgiveness and repent, thus rejecting the very means (the Holy Spirit) through which forgiveness and salvation are offered. This sin is hardened and continual unbelief against the Holy Spirit's working that Jesus warns about.
I'm more curious why you say the Lord is not helping you. If I were your pastor, that's the part I would want to investigate. I'd like to encourage you to go and speak to your minister or one of your elders about your concern right away.
I am praying for you!