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Ask A Pastor: A Bisexual Friend?

Our apologies! A technical error on our part caused several “Ask a Pastor” questions (including this one) to go unnoticed. We have now corrected the problem. Thank-you for your patience as we work on this new project!


At the beginning of this school year a girl befriended me, and we have been good friends for a few months now. I recently found out that she classifies as “bisexual.” Should I still be friends with her?


What a great opportunity for some personal evangelism! You do not say if you heard this from someone else – in that case it is gossip (slander) and might not even be true; or if she told you about herself – in that case it is an honest confession, and might even be a silent cry for help. In any case, maintain the friendship (with due care).

Study up what “bisexual” stands for. When the opportunity is there, carefully open a discussion with her as to what she means by being “bisexual.”

The common meaning of “bisexual” is romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females. It can simply be part of her “teenage confusion” sparked by the sex-education in today’s secular educational institutions. It can simply mean that she wants to be “with it” in terms of what is popular today, and (hopefully) just a passing fad. However, it can also be a transitorial identity towards something more defined as lesbian. In any case, open dialogue about it with her is best. Sympathize with her if she is simply in a confused state. But if it appears that she is genuinely attracted, romantically and sexually to both males and females, encourage her to consider God’s Word where it speaks in Genesis 2:27 “male and female He created them” and that He blessed them, and that He pronounced their differences as “very good.” Explain to her that God is wise in how He has created us, and that in His wisdom opposites in sexes attract, and that this as such is good and pleasing to God. We know from other parts of God’s Word that “same sex” romantic liaisons are not pleasing to God and ultimately call for repentance and forgiveness (which He is most graciously pleased to provide!)

Finally, be well grounded in your faith in Jesus Christ yourself so that you will not be drawn away into the error which your friend may have embraced.

Pastor Henk


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