How to Begin a Biblical Mentorship Relationship? (part 2)

Scott Dekorte
Aug 29
3 min read

Starting a Mentorship Relationship

Great, I am on board with this idea of biblical mentorship (See last week’s article), but how do I start?

Asking someone to be a mentor can be a little intimidating to you, and perhaps to them too!

If you are seeking a biblical mentor, search for someone who is farther along the discipleship pathway than you are. Seek for someone whom you can trust and who evidences wisdom in past interactions with you. Maybe you just have a small relationship with them, but pray about it and then have a real conversation with them about it when it seems suitable. Most often they will say “Of course!” Perhaps share this article with them as a way to get them thinking the same way about mentorship.

If you are seeking to mentor someone, seek for a younger believer who could spiritual benefit from such a relationship. Pray about it, ask them about it, and then go for a coffee as a start!

The 5 W’s of Mentorship Meetings

Once you have set up an initial meeting and both sides agree on the desire for biblical mentorship it is wise to put in place some agreement or “terms” that help guide the relationship.

Who - Hopefully this is clear by the time you meet.

When - Discuss how often (Monthly, bi-weekly) you would like to meet. It is good to set an ending too (6 months or 1 year) to evaluate how things are going. Often mentorship becomes friendship at that point and can become less formal and regular.

Where - Discuss an appropriate place to meet. Is it in a public setting, in a home, workplace, hiking or getting a coffee.

What - Discuss what will be the purpose or focus. Are there areas you would like to work on, or sins to overcome, or a topic to work through. Often a book can be a helpful launching pad for discussion.

Why - Reinforce the relationship is to better know and learn Christ and for the equipping and encouraging of others.

Helpful Tips for Mentors and Mentees

For Being a Mentor

For Being a Mentee

- Know the gospel (sin, grace) yourself to be able to share the gospel.

- Mentors often learn from the mentee (Malachi 4:6)

- Don’t impose your own struggles, calling, or specialized views on the mentee that forces them into a certain mold that may not be right or helpful.

- Mentor with intentionality and confidentiality

- Mentors listen and ask questions.

- Mentors do well to include books or other resources in the process.

- Grow in discipline and self-control. Be controlled by the Spirit of God.

- Mentorship can be particularly helpful in overcoming fear (2 Timothy 1:7)

- Don’t demand too much time from your mentee.

- As an adult, mentoring can build on the good foundations laid by your parents or family members

- The mentor's responsibility is not to make you grow – it’s yours.

- Follow in the footsteps of the flock. (Song of Solomon 1:8)

Recommended Resources and Sources

Here are some books, articles, or sermons you may find helpful on the topic of mentorship. These have helped me prepare the above content and you may see the same ideas echoed throughout.

Sermons

1. Biblical Mentorship - Dr. J. Bilkes

2. Part 1: The Disciple Making Church - Rev. Wagenaar

3. Part 2: Helping Others on the Way - Rev. Wagenaar

Books

1. Growing Together - Melissa Kruger

2. Devoted to God’s Church - Sinclair Ferguson

3. Spiritual Mothering - Susan Hunt

Articles/ Podcasts

1. Article: The What and Why of Mentorship

2. Article: What to Look for in a Spiritual Mentor

3. Podcast: How to Pursue Meaningful Mentorship Relationships