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Writer's pictureRev. Lawrence J. Bilkes

Ask A Pastor: What Do I Need To Start Dating Or Courting?

Question:

“When should I start dating or courting?”

Answer:

There are many conversations that can take place about courtship or dating relationships. Maybe you have had those kinds of conversations with your friends, conversations about guys and girls. The questions usually revolve around: Who to marry and, “How do I know he is the one.” Rarely is the question about what kind of character we ourselves need.

What do we need as we begin thinking and looking for a future spouse?

We need maturity.


“Am I old enough?” Love is a wonderful gift, but it should not be entered into lightly, or prematurely. The bride in the Song of Solomon advices: “I charge you, O ye daughters, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.” One writer said that, “love is a dangerous thing.” It is a sleeping giant that must not be aroused before we are mature enough to handle its joys and responsibilities.”

Samson made mistakes here. Solomon too. If the strongest and the wisest men in the Old Testament made mistakes here, we should all take heed!


What does maturity look like? Among other things, it means being ready and willing to ask and received advice from those around us, especially from those who are older, love and serve the Lord. Ask the Lord to grow you and mature you by His grace (2 Peter 3:18).

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